So the day is upon us. The last Christmas we will celebrate (in the commercial and communal sense) as a duo! We are only 6 weeks away from our little miracle to come along and change our lives forever and I thought it would be nice to document my thoughts on the last Christmas, which doesn’t revolve around our baby.
Christmas, though not a religious holiday for us, has always been a very important day. It’s a big deal! The whole family gets together and we have at LEAST 15 people around a dinner table, which has been extended purely for this occasion. We have all of the things you’d expect from a family Christmas, including food, drink, presents and unexpectedly devious games of Monopoly to follow. We have a format, a plan, an expectation and a comfortable way of doing things. I’m used to it. I help cook, I carve the meats; I pour the drinks and crack the crap jokes from every ones crackers. We’re a sizeable bunch and I have 3 siblings, a handful of cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and myself and my sister both have in-laws, who are well and truly blood relations by this point.
This year it was the first time my sister had hosted dinner at her house for our 15 members of immediate family. I can only imagine how different it was for her this year as though it’s her 2nd Christmas with a child, hosting is a whole other ball game. My little nephew was running around like a lunatic and excitement was at all time high. He’s approaching two years of age and kind of knew that it was a special day and presents and family will be a big part of it.
Luckily, we have a huge and helpful family all of whom are more than prepared to help out and take on the duties of baby sitting, cooking and entertaining no matter whose home Christmas is being hosted in. My sister was running around like an insane chef with a meat cleaver in her hand but she was able to relax knowing that her little boy was being watched. Or was she?!
I stopped for a moment whilst helping her cook. I thought to myself, I can hear him and it’s obvious he’s fine but would I ever be able to crack on with a mammoth task like cooking Christmas dinner next year, without worrying about my baby? How do you focus without constantly wondering what’s going on when you’re not around? I sound like a paranoid nut job but these things were actually crossing my mind. Fortunately he’s a noisy little monkey so it’s never difficult to determine his mood from the plethora of sounds that escape his tiny but extremely loud little mouth (I absolutely adore this child).
In the end I guess it comes down to trust and I came to the realization of how important my family is to me… to us. It’s imperative that you have people around you who will help, support and unconditionally take care of every member of the family whether they’re 1 or 100. Ultimately it doesn’t matter how many new additions there are to the family, and as long as you all stick together and work as a unit, nothing will really change. You’re all there for one another and it’s really cheesy to say this but THAT is what occasions like Christmas are about. Yes, the presents are what get the kids excited, but you have to maintain the view that actually, everything is for everyone. All of the effort, hard work and preparation that goes into putting an event like Christmas together for such a large family comes down to good team work.
Renu is in Mum-mode already. She didn’t really feel like it was a Christmas ‘without child’ as:
- She is carrying our baby already and has some of the same concerns and worries of a full time Mum.
- She was looking after my nephew throughout most of the day and she’s like his second Mum in many ways and
- She looks after the dog every year anyway (her words not mine)
It’s interesting how our views differ, and it harks back to my previous post about sometimes being a little detached and having to wonder. I cant ‘feel’ my baby yet. My paternal instinct has yet to kick in. I’m still just a husband in many ways.
Next year will be full of surprises and challenges, but this Christmas made me realize just how important it is that we all believe in the strength of family. I wouldn’t want to celebrate any special occasion without them altogether and no single member is any less important than another. Our new addition will only strengthen that belief, as I like to think I know my family and they’ll always be around to support us.
No matter what, she will always be in good hands.
Merry Christmas everyone!