Stupidstitions: 10 of the best (or worst)

I come from a culture where dis-empowering belief systems based in more horse shit than you can shake a saddle at, run rampant. Sometimes applying a logical and reasonable mind to raising a child comes with certain obstacles.  Personally I’m not a person who condones any form of superstitious belief and generally I feel my ‘standard of proof’ is quite high but reasonable.  To me superstition is seriously evil thing which is why I’m so dead-set against it and I feel in the majority of cases it’s the language of the insecure crazies of the world.  But as with most crazy things in the world, you have to have a side to you that see’s the funny facet.

It’s not just the crazies that bring this rubbish to our table… its the ones we hold closest and dearest.  So despite my usual lack of patience for superstitious nonsense, today I shall laugh heartily at the things people have told me to do, or NOT to do in case ‘something’ happens.  Unfortunately many of my readers will know who they are, but I can assure you (Mum) that I still love you and appreciate your concerns and comments.

So… I will recite the 10 best superstitious statements I’ve heard to date, followed by my own thoughts on the statement at hand. Here we go…

  1. Stick the babies hair down as spiky hair causes bad luck – because any child that experiences static at any point in life, will surely fall over and breaks its arse.
  2. Don’t kiss your babies feet, as its bad luck – because your feet are the centre of the influential forces of the universe and all negative sentiment will stick to you like a fly on shit.
  3. Kiss your babies feet, its good luck – hang on… what? But she said… (!)
  4. Never let your baby see herself in the mirror, as she will lose her soul – and potentially have tea with the Mad Hatter and Cheshire Cat.
  5. Your baby is smiling about its previous life if smiling whilst asleep – Obviously no reincarnated person has ever had a previously crap life as ALL babies smile in their sleep.
  6. Don’t post anything on Facebook as people will cast a jealous evil eye on her and bad things will happen (nazar)- If something bad happened to everyone who’d ever had hateful shit wished upon them via Facebook, we’d all be dead.
  7. She must have a black dot drawn behind her ear to protect her from said jealous evil eye – Eye liner pencils are the key to man kinds salvation.
  8. Large feet will mean a baby will travel far from its parents – Which is why all Circus Clowns commit themselves to a life on the road… Obviously.
  9. Its bad luck to buy baby stuff BEFORE the baby is born – Please accept my advanced apologies baby number 2 or 3… you’re screwed.  The contents of the attic will leave your life in tatters.
  10. If your baby is born on day ‘x’ the father cannot look at it for ‘x’ hours – I mean what the actual f*ck?!  How would I even explain that in the delivery room… “Daddy would you like to see your baby?” “No sorry Doctor, I cant until 4 o’clock because its f*ckin Tuesday!”
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Cute crap, is still crap

I actually love them all.  They’re all so whimsically non-sensical and most of them have come from very close family members and friends who I love dearly.  Personally I feel superstitious belief is nothing but detrimental to ones mental faculties and they help remove the shine that every person has reflecting off of their beautiful beings.  In this case, most statements have been spouted with the most sincere concern and caring for our little nappy sporting human and I cant tell you how much I appreciate having such close family and friends around us to help us raise her.

I may dismiss your stupidstitious statements as rubbish but rest assured… Actually, I will ALWAYS dismiss your stupidstitious statements… with my great smile 🙂

#Logic #Reason #Please

 

 

7 thoughts on “Stupidstitions: 10 of the best (or worst)

  1. Dear, not all superstitions are baseless. They have histories behind them.. If you agree, without following, it wont hurt the feelings of the elders.. Please dont refer to them as shit because may not you but someone believes in them.. Lets learn some mutual respect for others in society.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Most are absolute historical drivel. Like the one that says boys bring better fortune than girls. Which is why we see the mass genocide of baby girls in large parts of the world. Tell me that you wouldn’t hurt the feelings of those elders if they were dead set on getting rid of a child that happened to be female?

      Believing in something and respecting something that requires 0 evidence and blind faith doesn’t interest me and the world would be a marginally better place if these things didn’t plague our society.

      By the way which one is it? Bad luck or good luck to kiss a babies feet? Someone has missed out the base, and history behind that one.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am just saying if you dont agree to a belief it is perfectly alright not to follow it. But please do not disrespect by using cuss words. There is sometimes logic to a few things for e.g. it is said not to show baby face in the mirror the reason is the child looking at the same face can get scared or overwhelmed at the sight.It is suggested not to kiss baby’s feet just for the reason that the germs from our mouth can cause infections to the baby, because many people insist on kissing the baby if not mouth then feet. The belief says do not kiss anywhere. Sometimes if you tell people it is a belief of good/bad luck they will agree otherwise they would not stop. That’s all i can say dear!!!

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      • There’s no such thing as bad words, only bad intentions. I don’t mean any harm as my closest relatives have come up with these things. If I can tell my mother that there crap with no I’ll wishes, I can tell anyone.

        As for the reason for these things existing; are you telling me that the reason we make up things like good luck and bad luck is because people are too stupid to listen to advice otherwise? Maybe they don’t listen to the advice because the advice is rubbish? Kissing a baby is fine. It is proved to be a perfectly healthy thing to do a billion times a day across the world. No babies have ever been kissed to death. Why the need for this nonsense? Also I heard that it was good luck AND bad luck in the space of two weeks!

        If you’re saying that people believe more in good/bad luck rather than actual facts, then we’re all screwed.

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  2. Great post! This made me chuckle as I could identify with so many of these. My favourite is the black eyeliner dot behind the ear -my mother in law kept insisting I draw this on my son and keep a black cotton around his foot to protect from ‘bazar’ – what a load of nonsense! It’s 2016, peeps need to get with the times 🙂

    Like

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